Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Love defined

The world tells us how we should act, how we should strive to be better in our 20s, and a whole load of things.

Strangely enough, it even tells us how to love, who we should love and signs when we should stop loving. Or at least from the articles I've been reading these days. 

I've spent quite some time of my life chasing after an idea. The thought of being so recklessly in love with someone was so intriguing. I searched and searched, and I've encountered quite a fair share of the idea of love. Some passed the stage of just texting/whatsapping, some never even making it past that. I think the idea became somewhat a reality for me and when things came crashing down the first time, I was devastated.

I still chased after the idea. I was hoping that a screen from a movie or a book might happen in real life. Although this rarely happens in real life. Unless you're loaded. 

Until I realized I have to stop chasing this idea and let God work his wonders.

Even when I stopped, I didn't get prince charming overnight. I still had my hair share of "WTH just happened?", confusion, and nursing a broken heart (several times).

Now, I think growing up (turning 22) has taught me a bunch of lessons.

Lesson 1: Screw those articles you read online. It's always going to tell you to "10 reasons he's not the right one", "Signs that your relationship is heading towards Splitsville", or even "What a guy likes in a girl". We become consumed by these articles and we place our own self worth in what it tells us to be. But the truth it, we're better than that.

I don't think I need an article to tell me what's wrong, because if I start believing it, i'll start ruining the relationship in my head. I almost did at one point. But slowly I realized that reality is quite different from what is penned down.

Lesson 2: I'm not sure who came up with the concept about (70%/30%) love. According to that theory, you must be the one with the 30% love, while your other half loves you, 70% of course. It also tells us that if a person loves you more, then the relationship is going to work out. For awhile I believed it.

But...isn't it strange if everyone is supposed to love less than the other? Plus, how are we supposed to measure it?

I'll never really know who loves the other more. But does it matter? I don't think we need to start putting percentage on the amount of love we give out and get in return.

Lesson 3: Stop overthinking.

I over think every single time there's a problem. Then I tell others about my problem, then i'll over think their advice. I spend so much time thinking and worrying about what MIGHT be instead of what IS. One of the downsides of being a girl I would say. Just gets a little bit overwhelming at times.

I need to learn how to stop this. :P

At the end of the day, love can't be defined in just one article, or a few articles for that matter. It's a myriad of feelings and action- it comes with happiness, sadness, frustration, anger, even hurt. All I know is that's it's something we need to work on, instead of listening to what others have to tell us about our relationship.

I know i'm in love. I don't feel it all the time, but I see the fruits of it. The best part is that I know that it's centered on Christ. :)

just as i'm ending this post, Hyma sent this link. And I think it pretty much explains love too.

1 comment:

YY said...

Lovely post, Stephy! :)