We need more happiness in the world today

Every morning, I experience some form of anger or frustration on the road. I see cars swerving in and out of lanes and honking at others when they don’t give way.

Today, as I was nearing my workplace, I heard several loud honks on a continuous basis. I saw a red car swerving in and out of lanes, trying to go faster even though it was obviously impossible because the cars were moving slowly. He (I think I saw correctly) went on to scrolling down his window and showing hand gestures at the cars surrounding him. He kept doing that until he got his way and moved further in front.

After he left, I realised how bitter this guy was. Yes, we all go through some form of anger every time we’re stuck in a jam, especially if they refuse to give way even though you’re signal has been switched on for ages. But is that a reason to remain completely bitter at the world?

On another occasion, during the cafeteria sales on Sunday, I met another guy who was oozing bitterness. Instead of lining up where the others was, he was waiting on the other side and got someone else to call me. When I turned to him, he was ready to snatch a burger off the table. He grunted, “How much?” I tried explaining to him that it depends on what he wanted, chicken or beef, and if he wanted it plain or including eggs or cheese. He looked at me as though I was the stupidest person on the earth, scowled, completely ignored what I just said and asked again, “How much lah?”

After telling him the price, I accidentally returned the wrong change to him because I mistook the RM20 note for RM10. Forgive me. Everything was in a rush that day and I had to return his cash quickly so that I can return to other costumers. 

He gave me an ivy cold stare and rolled his eyes. At that moment, I was just scared he might throw the burger in my face due to my mistake. Thank God that didn’t happen. Haha! I passed him back his change, apologizing and saying “Thank You”. He scoffed, rolled his eyes and left.

At first I was wondering why it kept bugging me. I’ve encountered people like that; people worse than him and it didn’t bug me that much.

Today it kinda hit me. I was angry that the world has turned these people into such bitter people – the kind that you just wish picked up a lesson or two in the mannerism department. If I were stuck somewhere alone with these people, I would have given them a piece of my mind. I might have screamed or I’ll probably be so hurt that I’ll stand there crying.

But that’s not what the world needs. The world needs more smiles from strangers, a helping hand and most importantly, positive attitude. We need to pray for those struggling with turmoil and pray that the world becomes a better place.

I wish that I would wake up to happy news on a daily basis, instead of hearing about the latest crime or the couple that didn’t last in Hollywood.

I just wish for a little bit more happiness in this world. J

Love defined

The world tells us how we should act, how we should strive to be better in our 20s, and a whole load of things.

Strangely enough, it even tells us how to love, who we should love and signs when we should stop loving. Or at least from the articles I've been reading these days. 

I've spent quite some time of my life chasing after an idea. The thought of being so recklessly in love with someone was so intriguing. I searched and searched, and I've encountered quite a fair share of the idea of love. Some passed the stage of just texting/whatsapping, some never even making it past that. I think the idea became somewhat a reality for me and when things came crashing down the first time, I was devastated.

I still chased after the idea. I was hoping that a screen from a movie or a book might happen in real life. Although this rarely happens in real life. Unless you're loaded. 

Until I realized I have to stop chasing this idea and let God work his wonders.

Even when I stopped, I didn't get prince charming overnight. I still had my hair share of "WTH just happened?", confusion, and nursing a broken heart (several times).

Now, I think growing up (turning 22) has taught me a bunch of lessons.

Lesson 1: Screw those articles you read online. It's always going to tell you to "10 reasons he's not the right one", "Signs that your relationship is heading towards Splitsville", or even "What a guy likes in a girl". We become consumed by these articles and we place our own self worth in what it tells us to be. But the truth it, we're better than that.

I don't think I need an article to tell me what's wrong, because if I start believing it, i'll start ruining the relationship in my head. I almost did at one point. But slowly I realized that reality is quite different from what is penned down.

Lesson 2: I'm not sure who came up with the concept about (70%/30%) love. According to that theory, you must be the one with the 30% love, while your other half loves you, 70% of course. It also tells us that if a person loves you more, then the relationship is going to work out. For awhile I believed it.

But...isn't it strange if everyone is supposed to love less than the other? Plus, how are we supposed to measure it?

I'll never really know who loves the other more. But does it matter? I don't think we need to start putting percentage on the amount of love we give out and get in return.

Lesson 3: Stop overthinking.

I over think every single time there's a problem. Then I tell others about my problem, then i'll over think their advice. I spend so much time thinking and worrying about what MIGHT be instead of what IS. One of the downsides of being a girl I would say. Just gets a little bit overwhelming at times.

I need to learn how to stop this. :P


At the end of the day, love can't be defined in just one article, or a few articles for that matter. It's a myriad of feelings and action- it comes with happiness, sadness, frustration, anger, even hurt. All I know is that's it's something we need to work on, instead of listening to what others have to tell us about our relationship.

I know i'm in love. I don't feel it all the time, but I see the fruits of it. The best part is that I know that it's centered on Christ. :)

just as i'm ending this post, Hyma sent this link. And I think it pretty much explains love too.

It's a beautiful day :)

I think that the world is turning into a very dark and gloomy place. 

In turn, it's making me feel like the world is starting to lose it's happiness. 

Every time I read the news, watch TV/Youtube, or listen to anyone, it's never something good. It's taking a toll. Why is everything full of hatred, full of anger, full of tragedy? I'm done feeling so down. 

It's time to push everything aside and smell the roses.

I think we need THIS in particular. I think it's good that we take time to appreciate what we have. Life IS beautiful, so why do we focus on the negativity? :)

p.s. Here's a video dedicated to Phantom Of The Opera. Currently obsessed with their songs after watching the musical.

Trapped.

All these talks are becoming nothing more than empty words.

Empty words which we hang on to. 

How does wrongs make a right? It never does. It never will. Yet it's so easy to fall back into that same trap. The trap that tells you it's alright, it's acceptable. Slowly but surely, you'll start to believe these lies made up in your head. It becomes a 'right'.

But then at the end of the day, everything comes crashing back down. And what are you left with?


It's getting quite hard to draw a line.

Guess it's time to shove it all away. Time to talk and mean things.

My point.

Everything is getting grander.

We're all in the midst of flashy lights, booming music and huge crowds.

Nowadays, it's not even about connecting on a personal level anymore. It's about who can do it better.


So what's the point of all this?

Who are we trying to impress at the end of the day?

I just wish that sometimes, more thought went into things. And that everyone just went back to the basics.


Would be pretty simple isn't it?

One of those days.

I've been doing a lot of thinking & re-thinking in the past few days.

It's crazy how such a simple life can turn into a rollercoaster ride. I'm just tired. Mentally, physically & maybe even spiritually. It's just one of those days where burnout is evident.

Overly attached friend.

Instead of being the Overly Attached Girlfriend, 

*points below*

OAG - Laina Morris

I believe that i'm an Overly Attached Friend.

I may not display the same characteristics of an OAG, but i'm somewhat there.

For some reason, i become incredibly attached to people even after knowing them for a short amount of time. And sometimes, it's rare for me to find someone i can instantly click with. To find someone i have no qualms with, conversation constantly flowing & even when it's silent, it's the kind of silence that reassuring. It's rare that i find the bond often.

I guess i'll just turn into an overly concerned friend, one who would go out of the way sometimes, one who remembers what you like/dislike. I bet there's a few other qualities but it's refusing to come to my mind right now.

I'm just weird.

And this is a random post to express my thoughts about myself.

♥

A new chapter begins.

Here we go! The day I haven't exactly been looking forward to. Not because I don't want a job or anything, just cos I'll miss this freedom that I have now. I'll miss the fact that I can wake up anytime, have short naps during my day, pure undisturbed time to watch my series on TV or the lappy, staying up late for a whole variety of reasons (including talking & chatting away) and going to malls during weekdays!

It's not as though I won't be able to do such things anymore. It's just that it would be different. At the end of the day, I guess change is inevitable. :)


I'm thankful that it's something I love doing. Journalism plus dealing with youths plus social media! So so blessed! ♥


*clinks glasses* cheers to a good time! :)

Fear

So, the next chapter of my life begins in a few days. And there is no u-turns, restarts or 'one-more-chance' options.

I'm terrified. Beyond terrified to be exact. I'm constantly questioning and doubting myself.

What if I stumble & fall? Making a fool out of myself in the process. I know it's a learning process, but what if I don't pick myself up?

What if I can't make friends? Turning into that reserved girl constantly wishing she would have said more. Or what if I don't click with anyone there? Would I turn into a loner?

What if it's just a fluke that I got this job? My performance might not meet their expectation. My career in journalism might just be an idea in my head. Something I really want to do, but lacking so much of talent.

What if I lose interest? How do I regain that passion back? I don't want to become those mindless zombies waiting for 5pm to leave the office. Everything in between becomes a routine and it becomes uninteresting.

I have so many 'what if's?' so many doubts. Tons of insecurities. Fear of everything.


There's only one thing to do,
I'll walk by faith.

The grass is always greener.

Trapped in a bubble.

Constantly wondering, wishing and wanting. The same question keeps resurfacing, "Is there something better out there?". Perhaps there's more to life than just this. Perhaps, just perhaps this is just part of a greater plan.

No expectations & my heart will be fine. :)

Lacking the final push!

This study break is meant for me to be stuck at home studying.

But.. i seem to be doing the total opposite. I somehow managed to find time to sleep more, discover Pottermore, watch TV, play Kingdom Hearts. Basically doing everything that is non-exam related. 

Maybe it's because i'm tired. I'm tired of studying. 

I just went in for an interview today. When the boss saw that my starting date was Mid-June/July, she was quite upset. It seems having one month break after i've been studying my whole life is too much to ask for. To be fair, it wasn't my plan to even start working so fast. I just need a  break from everything. 

Yeah, i just want sit at home and rot. I don't wanna spend money going out everyday. I just plan to sit at home and do NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. After the measly one week or one month breaks i got for sem breaks, this is the least i deserve. I just want a break. Nuff said. I'm not gonna go lying to my employer's faces. You want the truth, you got it. :)

Anyways, that's all i'm gonna complain about. Today at least. Heh.

Here's a bunch of jumbled up pictures!

Meh Groupmates that i'm gonna miss!

Yeah, an exhausted Stephanie for you to see. 

Fried Chicken from Par Tea Time. :D

With Ms Helen, one of the nicest lecturers in Inti :))

Karaoke session to cure the blues!

Meh. Time to try studying again.

Don't rain on my parade

I've been having too many constant late nights that i'm super tired today. Just finished off my presentation slides & i'm too tired to start studying for anything. I need to sleep in. At least once. :)

I also love receiving loyalty cards. Good job marketers! 

Juice Boost's loyalty card. After FINALLEH collecting 10 stamps. :D

Not sure why the picture is blurred. Brother's Chatime card. 

And of course, the every trusty wallet to keep everything in. *points below*

It's kinda frustrating how my wallets wear out so easily. Longest lifespan for most of my wallets is usually about a year. Now my current one is also slowly coming apart. Look at the edges of my wallet. :'( Oh wells, at least it's still usable. Not time to change my wallet yet!

And to keep me awake during all those late nights,

I had this..

Milo Ais!

Red Velvet cupcake my mum's student made. 

Tonight isn't my night to stay up. Time for bed! :)

Wishlist! ;)

There comes a time in every girl's life where they start being a lil' greedy. ;)

With all the technology going cuckoo around me, you can't blame me for wanting something more. I seem to have have 'love-hate' relationship with things around me. Me loving them, while technology hates me. For real. 

Things on my wishlist..

1) A new phone

I'm just fed up of the nonsense my blackberry puts me through. It's not even worth the effort complaining about the trouble it's been causing me. I think it reached the point where the phone just belongs in the trash (quotes my brother). I'm having such a hard time thinking of other phones besides Blackberry MAINLY cos of the keypad. I'm not even considering other phones.

But, maybe an Apple product might be in the near future. Only after i've started work i guess.

First month's salary going to this.

2) Semi-pro camera

I love pictures taken with DSLR's. However, buying it never crossed my mind because it's too huge to lug around. I'm the kind of girl who usually dumps everything into my bag until it's filled to the brim. Bringing a DSLR wherever i go would be such hassle. 

That is, until semi-pro's came about. Compact DSLR's. What's not to loveeeee? Looking at the pictures my current camera produces, it just looks plain ugly. Hahaha. The lighting & the resolution is horrible! I want to go out, take amazing pictures & blog after that. Which is something i can't really do at the moment?

Second month salary going to this.

3) TRAVEL

I don't need to explain much. I want to go & explore what the world has to offer. I wanna visit famous/historical sites around the world. I want to experience different cultures! And even meet wonderful strangers from around the word while at it. :)

I'm just waiting for the right time (and cash). 

Salary for the rest of my life goes to this.

I'm not being a sixteen year old asking for a brand new Macbook, something i won't even use. I'm just someone who wants something out of her life. 

reality check.

Groupon fanatics.

Today, i salute those who can withstand the pain of facials.

Being a girl...definitely has it's down moments. The price you'd pay for beauty, or even just to maintain healthy skin. I'm not talking monetary terms, i'm talking in terms of physical and mental torture we put ourselves through.

Another Groupon deal to 'pamper' oneself.

Several pictures taken from the Groupon website. 

The best part is that i didn't even know of it's existence, two doors away from KFC in Taipan. The moment i stopped outside of it, i knew that it was a deal well worth it because it looked so posh! :)

I didn't have to wait long until it was my turn to get my facial & massage.
No pictures cos i had to keep everything into a locker. 

Started off with consultation. The beautician was helping me to figure out what was wrong with my skin (internal/external). Then a nice relaxing shoulder massage before the serious stuffs began.


Everything went well until the extraction part. I can't begin to describe the pain. Although i've gone though it several times, it's never easier the next time round. At moments, i just wanted her to stop completely. Or wish that they would provide anesthetics. Or anything to lighten up the mood.

But all in all, i felt much better after the whole process (esp after the cooling mask). My skin feels much better, finally able to breathe better this time round. And not only that, i managed to get freebies!

The pouch with my name on it. :)

Dragon Fruit lipgoss!

On another note, my family loves purchasing Groupon deals! Especially since if it's around Subang Jaya.

We bought Gelatto this time round. ;)

After class, we rounded the whole of SS15 trying to find the shop. The crappy part about SS15 is the fact that all the signboards are either torn down or plastered with advertisements. Eventhough we had the address, we could not find the place. We rounded the whole SS15, keeping our eyes peeled for the Lezzato sign. It had to be there, somewhere at least.

After opting for GPS & calling the place, we found it.

HERE. The entrance is to the left =___="

It was such a sleezy & dodgy shop. There was no one there, NUMBER ONE. It didn't even look like a shop that served gelato, it was filled with boxes and large coolers, NUMBER TWO.

I guess that's why the deal was on Groupons. =____="

White chocolate chip & mango flavour.

Additional vouchers for the next time.

Doubt we'd we going back there much. But at least they are kind enough to give us more vouchers! Heh.

First day of college down! :)

First day of college is over! :)

It feels like it is still going to take some time before i get truly accustomed to college life once again. I am so thankful that there's no 8am classes this semester! So thankful that i don't have classes right up to 6pm also. Most thankful for the fact that my Fridays are off. I could use those days to catch up on extra homework, interviews and etc.


Reality is sinking it. It's my last semester in college and i still feel like i haven't truly accomplished anything. Well, maybe it's partially due to my dreams of actually pursuing studies overseas. Preferably in the US or UK. Although it's scary to leave my comfort zone, that's one thing i want to do in this lifetime. To actually pursue studies overseas. :) Who knows, i still have my Masters to go.

Some thoughts about my finals semester in college..

I am actually going to miss all my classes, especially Art class. Although it was done a semester ago and i'm still bummed about the fact that he didn't give me an A. :( it's the people that i'm going to miss, the silly antics and the whole college experience.

It's also my last semester to wear anything and everything i want from my wardrobe. Technically, when i begin work i don't have much say on what i can/cannot wear already.

It's an extremely outdated picture. And a blur one. The size has increased..by a bit. ;)

And whatever else comes to mind.

On another note, politics is not so messed up after all. 

Read here about Anwar's acquitted charges.

The REAL world.

It's time like these where i start to dread growing up.


I could always be that girl at 5, without a care in the world. My only concern was about what i was going to eat   and ways to get back at my brother after he bullied me. Oh yes, i still remember him 'accidentally' dropping a screwdriver on my poor feet. Ouch much.


Or i could be that girl at 11. Secretly waiting for a letter from Hogwarts, or Hagrid smashing my door down and explaining that i'm supposed to be in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'll be praying everyday before i turn eleven, for some miracle to happen. Although my wish was a little far-fetched, a small part of me wanted it to be real. :) I'd rather study Potions over Science any day!

Even the whole high school period. Those were the glory days. :D Too many good memories throughout the years. We came out with genius plans to escape doing our homework.


I was digressing.

I rather be young and naive now. Not fixing my resume and googling for the best jobs in Selangor. I'm pretty adamant about staying here to work. I'm in no rush to go all the way to Genting or even Singapore just yet.

Work and Travel USA? 2nd option though. :)

One more semester to go till i actually head into the working world. I can/cannot wait.

*contemplates*

Un-happy Feet!

They said this will kill your feet..

Although.. I don't mind this pair of heels. So pretty!

But i think walking around with flats can also kill you. Especially if you've been out for almost everyday, walking around huge shopping malls (or being dragged along to far away places) or just visiting for Christmas.

My legs were so sore that i crashed after i reached home everyday.

It became so painful that i somehow managed to worsen my cracked heels? It became so bad that it's pretty horrific to look at. No, i'm not going to post a picture of it. It just..makes me feel like a old person. Aching legs, cracked heels, etc.

I wonder what's next! :/


I'm just going to take an effort and use the pumice stone EVERYDAY and some ointments to cure it. Home-made remedies at it's best! Read more here.

Technology? PFFFT.

I guess these days, the phone matters more than anything else.

Has the value of conversations decreased so much that people rather spend them scrolling through meaningless websites while having dinner? Or is that how the world acts now?

"Why are you getting so anti-social? Eat also wanna use the phone."

So? I got nothing to talk what. 

Reality bites eh. It's not that there's nothing to talk about, it's more of i-rather-spend-my-time-with-my-phone. Or maybe i'm just feeling a lil left out. I don't like silence. At all. 

Iphones. Pfftttt.

But then again, it still boils down to the fact that it's so hard to have normal dinners these days. And you wonder why you even bothered trying in the first place.

During a dinner on Saturday, i met up with some relatives i haven't seen in ages. And some that i've never seen in my life. To no surprise, every single kid there had an Ipad. The youngest one was 3, and she already had her own. All the kids in the 'children's' room had an Ipad each too, playing it the whole time.

A little spoiled don't you think? And you wonder why everyone turns out to be such brats. Haha. But who am i to judge?

The world is getting more dependent on technology, and every is virtual now.
Thank God for the friends who made everything much more better. ♥

Can't wrap my mind around it.

Being stuck at home, feeling 'intoxicated' with all the meds taken (not literally) with bad bad cramps is an absolute downside of being a girl. *grumbles*

I would usually make myself a hot steaming cup of Milo to make myself feel better. But since it's Lent, i'll have to refrain from that. All i can do is take Panadol and try to sleep.

My FAV tom yam goong from Pad Thai.

Mushroom & fish. :D:D:D

The yummy food had nothing to do with how crappy i'm feeling now, but since i found the pictures in my camera i've decided to upload em.

Now i'm gonna head back to burying my head in my American Enterprise textbook. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the content of the book. What i have learnt in the earlier half of the semester and received pretty awesome results for the Mid-Term is totally against this book. Plus, watching Michael Moore's documentary insisted that most of the things learnt in the first half was wrong. =/

Okay. I'll just push aside my views, start reading with a fresh perspective. Then maybe i'll feel better about taking this subject.

Love me not?

Today i had to take a picture of myself for some gaming thingy. 5 selected girls get to be the ambassadors for them. I doubt that i would get chosen among the thousands of girls(If it reaches that much ;D). Plus, i have to get people to vote for me so that my face will appear on the website.

=.="

I blame Shannon for this. All because the prize was RM1000. Lol. Okay laa. The money is the incentive fo us to join it. Tze Mien and Jessica were working there part-time. Long time no see! :)

And i got these freebies. If my brother doesn't want it, i'll see who else i can dump it on. ;D

Assignments are all due very soon! When am i not stressing?? Gosh.

On another note.

I just wish things would take a turn for the better. I honestly don't get the meaning of friends anymore. You do one thing and then it totally turns for the worst. I come online and i wished i didn't have to read blogs sometimes. It hurts way more than it's supposed to do.

It's like no matter how hard i try, the ones closest to my heart still end up hurting me the most. Sighs. And i keep turning back to the WRONG person. At times, i can't help it. In these kind of situations, there is nobody to trust. I am not asking for much okay?

I just need a fresh start on things. Really i do.

But God must have a plan for me, i'll just stay strong and hopefully things will fall in place again. :)